Picture This . . .
Now, picture this: The same woman; she is alone and takes a home pregnancy test in her bathroom. She anxiously awaits the test results with her heart pounding and palms sweaty. After three long minutes of unnerving torture, her destiny becomes frightfully clear. She IS pregnant. Tears of fear and sorrow stream down her face as flashes of her unsettling future floods her thoughts, and imprints of distress take over her body penetrating through her troubled soul. What a disaster! Hopes and dreams for her future are instantly shattered. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This surmounting pressure of motherhood is ultimately crushed by the overwhelming fear of bringing another life into this world. She is early enough in her first trimester that she hopes this problem can be fixed without too many side effects. She immediately makes the next available doctor’s appointment and heads to the medical facility heartbroken and numb. The minutes she waits in the cold office chair to confirm her agonizing fate cannot pass quickly enough. Finally, the doctor confirms through ultrasound that yes indeed, she is pregnant. Again, tears of unrelenting sorrow and regret roll down her face as she lay silent on the bitter, lifeless bed – feeling much like a corpse in a casket herself. Her face turned abruptly from the image of the blob of tissue on the ultrasound screen. While no words were spoken, her spirit cried out in anguish and tender emotion as mourning of motherhood began. She leaves the appointment, empty handed and empty hearted, sad and shameful of what she has done and what she will do. She needs a solution to her problem. She needs this to go away and go away quickly. Take a moment. Can you see her? Can you see this mother? Can you picture her enraptured in endless shame, guilt, and condemnation surrounding the news of this miracle growing inside of her; her unborn baby?
It is interesting and disturbing how we can justify our decisions based on our feelings and circumstances forming ignorant opinions evoked in action. As humans we think, we feel, we think, we feel. Feelings can change momentarily; they are not trustworthy or reliable. I know because I was both of these women. When it was convenient for me, I chose to believe that there was a baby growing inside me, but when times were challenging and the storm hit, I denied the sanctity of life and ultimately made the decision to end my baby’s life. When I had a brief inclination of keeping my baby and going forth with the pregnancy, I had no problem saying, “my baby” or “Mommy is hungry; time to feed the baby” or “I love you baby!” However, the mind is powerful and can be influenced by feelings, emotions, and false perceptions of reality. In the blink of an eye, I was able to shut off the humanity and dignity of not only myself, but also my unborn baby. I triggered a robotic mindless response including having severe lapse in judgment to the point of numbing denial. I went into autopilot. What baby? It is not a baby. I never referred to the growing life as baby after that decision to abort my child clicked into my subconscious. In a moment’s notice, my selfish indulgence turned life to death. The denial lasted for almost 20 years as I struggled to carry on with “life.”
While these two scenarios pose views on opposite ends of the spectrum, fortunately for us, we have a Creator who is steadfast and righteous in all ways. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). God does not change His mind based on His feelings, views, or thoughts. He is and always will be consistent. It wasn’t until I learned the truth that I could begin to deal with the tragedy of my decision. God’s truth is that I was carrying a baby in my womb. From the moment of conception, God was intimately involved in creating His masterpiece cell by precious cell. He was there forming my baby in secret, in my womb (Psalm 139:13-16). God’s word is enough; however, scientific evidence also supports life at conception. June Hunt, author of “Abortion: Not a Choice, but a Child,” declares a human being is “denned as a member of the species homo sapiens. Each individual human being has its own genetic code (DNA) that is singularly unique and established at the time of conception. The DNA of a human fetus is distinct not only from animals, fowl, and fish, but also from the mother’s DNA” (2009, p. 5). Both scientific and biblical evidence support life at conception. Once you know this information, you cannot deny it. What would it take for you to choose life?
If you were walking along a street and saw an innocent child being beaten or hurt by an adult, would you intervene? How much more innocent is a helpless unborn baby? No voice, no rights, no choice of his or her own – but a victim to choice. BE the voice. “Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy” (Proverbs 31:8-9). According to this scripture, we are to stand up and defend those who cannot defend themselves. Say NO to abortion. Feelings will come and go; trust in God, faith, and facts. After all the dust clears and the storm passes, you must live with your decisions. Make the right decision, choose life.
by Stephanie Kamanawa
Guest Blogger
I Could Never Do That . . .
I hear, I could never give my baby up for adoption, I am too young, too old, too poor, too many things to list. So what are the options if you do not feel you could keep the baby and you do not want to adopt? It seems abortion (killing your unborn child)is a very extreme measure. These days the media has really watered down abortion and made it so clean, sterile, and acceptable. However, the Gosnell trial really opened the eyes of the world to the atrocities that women and the unborn go through.
Rather than talk about the bloody rusty equipment used to perform abortions and killing babies born alive then killed, let's discuss LIFE! Let's really discuss what it means to give life knowing that you will be giving a baby for someone else to raise and adopt.
Adoption is no longer this secret that no one knows about. It is celebrated and embraced. When the family adopts they even have a Gotcha Day! Twenty years ago maybe, there were not as many open adoptions. Most adoptions were closed. Closed adoptions are adoptions without any involvement with the birth parents. Open adoptions are adoptions that have as little or as much involvement as the birth family and adoptive family agree upon. These days you have agencies really advocating for families to know the birth mother and to have a relationship with the child and the family. This arrangement has been shown to really aid families in the emotional health and well-being of the child.
If both the adoptive family and birth family agree, the birth mother can become like an auntie. Some birth mothers may not want to be this involved. Perhaps just knowing the baby is safe, healthy, and loved is enough for the birth family. However, some couples trade photos monthly, some meet for vacations; some are friends on Facebook and a ton of other ways to have relationships. There are many ways to love your child and allow another to adopt your child. It is not a prison sentence, ruin your life event or shameful experience that many years ago people shipped young women away for.
Adoption is one of the most sacrificial and beautiful experiences. To know that instead of killing your baby, you chose to give life. Wow! So many mother's and father's right now are searching, praying, dealing with the thought they can never have a baby without adoption. They are hoping that YOU will choose them. They hope YOU will think they are good enough to love, raise, and care for your child. Can you imagine? You are very important!
Families have to go through a lot of work to even be able to adopt. They have to find an attorney, get background checks to make sure they are safe people, and have a biography written about them called a homestudy so that they can be reviewed by adoption agencies. They make the cutest photo albums of their family for you to look at. You even get to meet them. Financially, adoptions cost thousands of dollars. However, aside from the financial, probably the hardest thing any adoptive parent goes through is waiting. Waiting to be chosen by a birth family can be a lengthy process that couples can wait years and years for.
According to Prolifeacction.org, 1.2 million abortions are performed each year in the U.S. as of August 2011. What would happen if those children were born and allowed to be adopted?
Why do people adopt? So many families struggle to have a baby, perhaps there was an abortion that left the family unable to conceive. Some women or men may have fertility issues. Or, maybe they were able to have one child and unable to have more. Maybe they were a little older when they found the love of their life, and their ability to have a child is no longer an option. There are instances where there is no known reason why families are unable to have children. These families want with all their hearts to open their lives to a child. Some families even choose to adopt simply because they want to open their hearts and homes to another child.
There are many ways that open adoptions can bring so much more than life into this world. Children want to know why they look the way they do, where they come from, and why they like or do not like certain things. You are the key to their puzzle. They need you to love them enough to allow them to grow into your belly, kick around a bit, and be born. You can do it. I know it is not simple. The situations in your life that you face are anything but simple. However, the simple experiences rarely develop great women. Strong, courageous, and influential women rarely lived boring lives. They made choices that often resulted in a monumental defining moment.
I have watched, read, and talked to many women that have regretted their abortions. They regret that their baby will never be able to live. The regret they allowed other people to coerce or tell them what to do. They regret that they were so emotional they made an impulsive decision. They regret the child they will never see, hear laugh, or be born.
With adoptions, it appears these women feel more peace and experience fewer traumas over the long term. Imagine having had an abortion and hearing the stories that are coming out about abortion doctors/clinics and the lack of quality control. For some women, this is traumatizing. Knowing you chose to give birth and share that child with a family you selected sounds so much more healing. I am almost certain that many women, instead of saying, “I could never give my baby up for adoption” would have allowed themselves the option of adoption.
by Noel
Guest Blogger
Just a Clump of Cells and Tissue
Growing up I was told it was nothing. It was not real. It was a dream. It was not even a baby. Roe v. Wade was important for women. We have rights! No more back alley abortions. Now, we can let teenagers 14 and older go to the pharmacy without parents and pick up a prescription.
Actually, there is a baby in there. The baby has a heartbeat. I have seen that baby wiggle and move. I have seen them suck their thumbs, yawn, kick, and pretend to be shy. I have seen a miracle. I have gotten to know a couple of them. I have known what it means to carry and hold a baby.
As a therapist, I have seen women struggle with their decision to abort their baby/ies. They are depressed. They know about when their baby would have been born. They know who chose to end the pregnancy. This freedom people taut, is a form of bondage. It is an emotional slavery. These women come to my office seeing the process of the abortion.
Emotionally the mother may suffer and see the trauma of the baby being aborted. The little boy or little girls they could have had. They see the process of the abortion and often relive the experience. The baby they aborted they see in other children, cousins, and this clump of cells almost had a name. The baby was almost real. Please look at this site and read the stories these women have gone through and continue to go through. http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/plannedparenthood/
Please read the stories of women that have experienced this process and see if this is the emotional life you want to live for the rest of your life. This is not freedom or women's rights. This is a form of slavery.
You are a mother, not after birth, but at conception. You have a womb with a child that hears your heartbeat. If you need help learning to be a mother, there are women that will walk along side you. Seek a safe place that gives mothers help. They will be willing to instruct you how to be the mother you may not have had.
You can mother this child!
by Noel
Guest Blogger
One Turtle Moment in Time
It happened on the way to church early one Sunday morning. I was driving the car down a parkway close to our home, and I noticed a large turtle crossing the road. I commented to my husband that he must be 20 years old . . I had never seen such a big turtle! He was happily lumbering from one side of the road to the other as if he knew exactly where he was going and I made a large half-circle around him to make sure he had plenty of room.
It instantly occurred to me that not everyone would make the same effort to avoid hitting the turtle, and I told my husband I thought we needed to turn around and perform a rescue mission! I looked at my watch and saw that we were running close on time and hesitated past the first turn-around. Tom then encouraged me to take advantage of the next one so I made a U-turn and drove back to the place where we saw the turtle.
The whole scenario took about three to four minutes. I pulled over into the turn lane closest to where the turtle sat in the middle of the road and got out of the car. As I came closer, I could see that I was too late. The shell was cracked open and blood spilled out all over the road. I had been too late! In this case, three minutes was too long, and this magnificent creature was gone forever.
I learned a big lesson that day. NOW is all we have to make a difference. Not three minutes from now, or tomorrow or next week. This moment is all we have! I believe with all my heart that I COULD have saved that turtle if I had only acted immediately. But I’m so used to filtering everything that I was weighing the pros and cons of stopping immediately. Would this make me late to Sunday School, would I soil my clothes when I picked up the turtle, would people think I was crazy as I stopped traffic . . . all of those things were buzzing through my mind while I hesitated, and it was during that hesitation the turtle was crushed into the pavement!
How many times do we do the same thing with people. We see someone who is obviously desperate for help. Maybe they (like the turtle) don’t have a clue that they are in grave danger, but YOU can see the handwriting on the wall. Maybe it is a teenager who is hanging out with the wrong crowd. Maybe it is your next door neighbor who drinks and drives. Maybe it is a brother or a sister in your family who does not know Christ. You know what’s in their future as it now stands . . . but you hesitate to say anything because you don’t want them to think you are a religious nut or a Jesus freak. Then one day it’s all over. They are gone, and you would give anything to have one more chance to talk to them about their salvation . . . but it’s too late.
I’m convinced that God lives in the past, present, and future, but he works in and through US right now. The present is all we have to make a difference. That means you put your “filter” aside and listen to your heart. Right now. This moment - What is it you need to do to make a difference for Christ? Whatever it is . . . just DO it!
By Dianne Luce
Guest Blogger
Welcome to Hawaii4LIFE
Welcome to A Place for Women in Waipio's blog, Hawaii4LIFE!
A Place for Women is a growing pro-life pregnancy and counseling center in Hawaii. Our mission is to be a compassionate resource of hope and truth by upholding the sanctity of all human life through our free services and sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Blogs have become a great tool to help accomplish our mission by educating the community about LIFE issues. We are first and foremost a pro-life ministry, but we also deal with all types of LIFE issues at the center. Through our free biblical counseling services we deal with topics including: marriage, parenting, adoption, abuse, grief, depression, post abortive recovery, discipleship training and more.
So, our blog will cover more than the typical pro-life blog. We will, of course, discuss the topics of abortion, euthanasia, and post abortive recovery. But, we also want to encourage all to live a life pleasing to the Lord. So our hope is to educate and encourage others regarding all LIFE issues.
Our blog will be dedicated to L.I.F.E.
L - Love According to the Word of God
I - Inform the Community of the Truth
F - Fight for Life
E - Encourage Others in Daily Life
L - Love
The Word of God calls us to LOVE one another. A Place for Women is here to show the love of Jesus to those who are hurting and need help.
The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:31
I - INFORM
We hope to INFORM the community on LIFE issues.
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
Proverbs 9:9
F - FIGHT
We will FIGHT for those who are not able to speak for themselves. The innocent children of abortion, mentally and physically disabled and elderly need our voice.
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.
Proverbs 31:8
E - ENCOURAGE
We hope to ENCOURAGE people in their daily lives.
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Hebrews 3:13
Please join us on our mission of L.I.F.E.
We welcome guest bloggers. If you would like to participate in our blog for LIFE, please contact A Place for Women at 808-678-3991 for more information.